Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
