hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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