I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
