i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
