You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
