I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
