I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
