she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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