Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
