Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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