Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
