Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
As shirtless as possible
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
