I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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