im six kinds of drunk right now
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
