You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
