using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
