Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
