i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
