omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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