I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
