my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
