Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize