so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize