Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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