No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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