I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
