Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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