Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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