I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
do herpes really smell.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
