The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
