We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
