3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
