btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize