Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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