ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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