honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You dont lie about slip and slides
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
