You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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