D3 body, D1 cock
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
