So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
