The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
