I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
