I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize