you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize