I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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