Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
