Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
