once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
