You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
