3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
