Im at strip club and am horny
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
