we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
