You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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