i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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