White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
