drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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