yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
