I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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