Kiss
Puke
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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