I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
