The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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