I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
