so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I deserve this hangover.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
