its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
