in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
