i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
