"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
