we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
