there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We smell like vodka and hangover
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